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this is serious business, mad at you

June 2007

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this is serious business, mad at you

So, four days on already, and I've been accused of being gay, among other things. Amazing, really.


Why did I join again?


Accused of being gay? That's it? You're being let off easy, mate.

Would you rather we prank you?
That's not necessary. Thank you for the offer, though.
You ... are the first to thank us for that!

Now we have to prank you!
You can't be fucking -

That's really okay. You don't have to.
Yes we do! We promise it'll be fun!
Because you didn't want to miss out on the fun anymore?

And I don't know why he accused you of being gay. You're not. Right?
No, I'm not gay. Never have been, never will be.
Oh, well, that's nice.

Although all of us would support you completely if you were.
Thank you, Padma. That's nice to know for if I ever happen to be gay - which I won't.
Probably because gay people like you told you to.
He's not really gay, you know.
How would you know?
Because he's told me so and Anthony is generally very truthful. Also, I've never seen him do anything with another boy and I've seen him checking out girls' arses before.

So I'm pretty sure he's not gay.
I should've figured...

Nott, I thought we've already had this discussion. Your problems are not my problems.
I'm not gay. Would you like me to prove it to you?
Prove it? How exactly do you plan on proving it?
If you're not gay, then I have some wonderful girls that I think you should start dating immediately.
I don't need to be set up, Parvati.
It would certainly help dispell some of the gay rumours, wouldn't it?

Do you prefer beauty with a big heart and even bigger brains or beauty with big brains and an even bigger heart?
Parvati, I don't need - wait, there are rumors?

Either is fine, actually. Though, I think I might like the second option more.
Right, Lavender it is. Have you met Lavender Brown? She's a wonderful girl, really wonderful, huge heart, loads on intelligence, very witty, brilliant conversationalist, flirty and demure all at once!

This is going to be so much fun! Would you like to join all of us on a double date to Hogsmeade? I'm sure Colin wouldn't mind at all.
Was pervert one of them?
No, I'm pretty sure that wasn't one of them. Why you would ask is almost interesting, though.
Only because your house is known for perverse boys.
I can assure you that doesn't include me, then.